my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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