Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
