I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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