At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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