Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Two words: blizzard sex
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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