that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
