i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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