Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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