I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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