He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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