What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
