dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
