real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
