I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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