I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
