if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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