No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
