We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
