you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
