is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize