At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I touched a dick in church today
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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