trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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