While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
