no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
