At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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