so that wasnt chicken after all
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
