i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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