It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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