I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
