It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
