her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
