i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
