you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
