But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
