i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
