I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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