VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
