Your dad touched me again.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
