He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
