I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
