omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
