i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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