So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
