Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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