lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
