Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
