She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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