I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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