well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
