thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What happened to fro yo and sex?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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