She said her name was "party"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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