Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
