their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize