end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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