She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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