How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
