I only kidnapped one of them. chill
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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