its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
