So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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