I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
