i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
