i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
