I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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