ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
