Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
