There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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