So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
