So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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