The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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