I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
