Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
