I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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