Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
