Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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