it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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