Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
