Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
smell my finger.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
