Whod you bang
Fuck appropriateness.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize