Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
