He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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