Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
