He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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