ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
